On (the) edge

Honouring the whisper of discontent

I’m in a state of suspended animation; on the edge of my current life and not yet crossing the threshold into the next cycle.

Welcome to my ongoing (fortnightly-ish) seasonal, circle infused musings. You may wish to grab a cuppa, your pen and journal and cosy up with me for my sharing, reflections, updates, invitations, suggestions and offerings, or you may prefer to have a quick scroll to see the headings, and trust what draws your attention. xx

Hello dear Circlers

My peri-menopause experience is akin to living on (the) edge; waiting to see what happens next with equal amounts of anxiety and fascination.

I’m in a state of suspended animation; on the edge of my current life and not yet crossing the threshold into the next cycle.

There is nothing visible beyond this edge. 

There is a void, a liminal place, a space of shifting realities, a transitional formless becoming. 

I’ve had more uncomfortable conversations in the last 12-months than I can ever previously remember having. Conversations that have not just exceeded the edges of my comfort zone, but expanded my willingness and capacity to sit with discomfort. 

Since Circles found me, I have been obsessive about their potential for this wounded world (and of course that’s a subjective opinion), and in the beginning months of this (rapidly flying by) year, I have found myself stepping further and further away from the women’s circle movement that continues to unfold around me.

I still heartfully advocate for the power of sharing circles, but I have a sense that I am an outsider amongst the flower crowns, white gowns, feminine rising, goddess worshipping, cacao sipping and beautiful settings that fill my feed on Instagram.

I have always believed that there are infinite ways in which Circles can be created and held to meet the diversity of our existence and experience. And yet, I find myself increasingly questioning whether my work really matters.

I’m in a phase of reflection; part of my ongoing enquiry into what I, and my circles stand for (which is one of the first questions I ask in Circle Skills),

My interest lies in the layers of simplicity and complexity found in the architecture and process of a sharing circle; and in how that can be translated as an approach to navigating life in a way that is connecting, relating and belonging (in other words, a decolonised life).

I will continue to apprentice myself to Circles; consciously being as teachable as I can, listening with all of my senses as I learn to translate what I “hear”, and practicing patience.

I am grounding deeper into the land, my ancestors, my body, my wild heart and my devotional practices, and honouring the whisper of discontent that is seemingly always present right now.

I am immersing myself deeply into how nature and circles teach us to listen, to have more empathy, to foster connection and communication, to nurture community and collaboration, to embrace the interdependence of all beings and to hold space for generative conflict. 

This is an ongoing and ever unfolding conversation with life, with the land, with spirit, and with myself; I am attempting to tend to these threads with curiosity and an open heart.

I don’t have an answer yet.

And so I sit here on the edge; both willing to meet this moment in my life and work, and yearning for clarity.

Perhaps, as the caterpillar does, I already have the imaginal cells that I need, and I will emerge from of the goo of peri-menopause when the time is right.

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Book of the Moment

 In my last letter, I explored how charging for Circles honours our work, and supports our communities (you can read it here).

In that piece I shared a quote from Decolonizing Wealth: indigenous wisdom to heal divides and restore balance, by edgar villanueva, which I had just started reading.

After two days in bed with a mysterious infection, I’m delighted to share that I have now finished the book and I am adding it to my list of suggested reading for Circle Holders.

Decolonizing Wealth is described as “a provocative analysis of the oppressive dynamics at play in philanthropy and finance”. If, like me, you know very little about that world, this book pulls back the curtain to show the very dark shadow side of the Foundations that we hear about, and, edgar villanueva shares his Seven-Steps to Healing.

I think it’s a helpful book for Circle Holders because he explores so many themes that we encounter in Circle; including leadership, grief, connecting, decolonising, listening, relating, trauma recovery, community wisdom, reciprocity and the difference between acting and being.

I have often shared that I see circle holding not as something that we “do” but as who we are, and I had to highlight these sentences:

When you’re being something, it infuses who you are and your contemplation into it. You connect with the things that resonate with your being, and your life is a testament to that.

This was a beautiful reminder for me (and maybe for you) that I’m not doing Circles but being a Circle Holder (even when I’m a little lost).

You can find my suggested reading for Circle Holders here.

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Circle School Update

So after my “on the edge” musings you might be wondering what on earth is happening inside Circle School?!

I feel incredibly grateful that my work and life are so entwined. Whilst on the one hand I’m zooming out and asking the big questions about my work and place in the world, day to day I am holding Circles and supporting Circle Holders every week in ways that keep me in my zones of joy and grace.

I have the capacity to hold many things (sometime opposing things) as true; and my hope is that my transparency does not alienate you from my offerings!

So, first up, are you on the list for The Sacred Grief Retreat?

Kathryn and I are so close to opening registration to The Sacred Grief Retreat:

This September, we are calling together space holders and community organisers, circle facilitators and wellbeing practitioners to the wild, nurturing land of Devon, UK.   Through ritual, ceremony, circles and workshops we will empower and inspire one another to tend to the grief within ourselves and within our communities.

Kathryn and I are hosting a live call next week to share all the details and answer your questions. You can find the information page here and join the interest list to receive details of our upcoming live.

Second, is it time you enrolled in Circle Skills?

Circles are definitely having a moment in the limelight!

In December last year in Forbes, Joni Sweet included Women’s Healing Circles as one of the 10 wellness trends to try in 2023. As Circles receive more mainstream coverage, there is a corresponding surge of interest in Circles and a willingness to try them.

If you’re feeling the call to hold Circles for your client community but (like me) don’t necessarily resonate with the current imagery of women’s circles being shared (think slim, young, white women wearing those flower crowns and flowing gowns), I want you to know that you can create unique, powerful and transformative sharing circle experiences that are a true expression of who you are.

Circle Skills is not the appropriate course for everyone, but if you’re curious to see if it is for you, please read all about it here. It’s currently £177 or you can choose one of the payment options (with no additional fees).

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Some writing I’ve been loving:

A few weeks ago I held a very simple training for Circle Holders on using AI (and Chat GPT in particular). Afterwards, I read this post from Alexander Beiner. If you’re curious or anxious about AI, you might find this as fascinating as I did:

Lesser Gods: AI Creativity, Neuroscience and the Future of Work

And this is from last year but I re-read it recently and was in hysterics all over again. If you’re favourite distraction is looking up houses (that you can’t afford) on Right Move, then you may love this too:

The Sophist's Rightmove roundup

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I hope that whatever this season holds for you, you are able to tend to yourself and the communities you are part of with compassion and courage whilst receiving love, nourishment and support.

With you in Circle in these (r)evolutionary times

Mitlé

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p.s. I love sharing books and I love supporting Indie bookshops. If you can’t get to a local bookshop or prefer to order on-line, the links that I share take you to bookshop.org. On their site you can choose a specific bookshop to support and they’ll receive 30% of the cover price (or almost all of the profit) or, 10% of the cover price contributes to an earnings pool that is evenly distributed among participating independent bookshops each month. In addition, I am a member of their affiliate program which means I receive 10% commission and an additional 10% goes to Indie bookshops. So it’s a win for book lovers and bookshops.

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