Honouring the Sacred

Bringing beauty and joy to my days

Grief. So much power in such a small word.

For the last week I have been intending to write about the Sacred Grief Retreat; to share the fullness and depth of my experience as a space holder, facilitator and ritual guide in that space.

I have felt a strong resistance to doing so; noticing how reflecting on the experience, changes it.

I am generally rather obsessed with reflection as a journaling practice; it presents an opportunity to be curious about has unfolded, to gently poke at what has transpired, to be willing to see it differently, to notice parts of a journey that need releasing or celebrating, or as a means to integrate a journey by writing it out.

Interestingly, I did less journaling on the Sacred Grief Retreat over 3-days than I usually do in a 3-hour Circle. I was completely present in my body for a very large part of the retreat and honoured the desire to move frequently.

My (albeit brief) legal career taught me that there is no such thing as a reliable witness. Something that I shared often during our time together, as much as a reminder to myself as to anyone else, was that we’re not all having the same experience.

We may be in the same place at the same time, but we each bring our own particular perspective, biases, learnt knowledge and lived wisdom to everything we encounter.

We may have all been grieving something, but each person’s grief had its’ own rare quality.

We may have danced together but the layers we danced through were exclusive to us.

We may have journeyed into the imaginal realm with the same enquiry, but our inner landscapes differed and we each received our intuitive guidance in a unique message.

And yet, of course, when we share our own experiences, there is always resonance, mirroring and a collective comprehension that much is universal.

In seeking to share “my” retreat, I find the experience ever less tangible; just as I grasp an insight, it fades away.

One memory that has stayed fast in my heart was the closing walk in the Labyrinth. I was the final person to enter and leave the Labyrinth and in a gloriously unexpected reintroduction, my inner-mystic came to me.

Following a rupture with a mentor several years ago, I had placed this part of my myself, my circles, my work and my life in a beautiful and very sealed box.

And now she has returned; reigniting my connection to the mystical in the landscape and the mystic in my heart and soul.

I know for sure that my life is richer, deeper, more beautiful and joyful when I let her lead, tending to my heart’s precognitive capacity and honouring my soul’s guidance.

I feel the resistance in privileging beauty and joy; the voice that claims it is shallow or delusional, an act of betrayal to our planet.

But my time at the Sacred Grief Retreat, during which we welcomed all emotions, consciously cultivated beauty and treated everything we did as a sacred act, reminded me that beauty and joy are how we respond to our times with reverence.

I’m allowing this to be a fun reconnection; playing with trust and boundaries and bone-deep knowing that I get to choose how I show up to my life.

With you in Circle in these wild times

What’s happening in Circle School

1. My dear VA and hearth tender in The Grove, Ylana has left me (!) to begin her maternity leave and prepare for her baby to come earth side. She left me with the incredible gift of completing my new website. I am so grateful for all she has done for me and Circle School this year and and excited for her, and already missing her!

2. The Grove, our online membership to gather and connect with co-conspirators embracing Circles as meaningful spaces for collective care and sacred activism in life and business, is now “always open”. You can cross threshold and join us at any time. Our next gathering is our Wisdom Circle on Tuesday 10th October.

3. If you’re looking to grow your community and fill your circles without compromising your values, exhausting yourself or pretending to be someone you're not, Fully Booked is for you! The introductory enrolment fee is just £27 and it offers a self-led video course (the videos are 3-6 mins each) with a detailed workbook and some helpful extras.

4. If you’re local to me and a mother to sons, my Mother & Son Circles take place on the first Saturday of each month. You can sign up here for further details.