Finding our place in the family of things
What comes to us in the spaces of listening and waiting
Hello loves
We began our Summer holidays with 10-glorious days house and pet-sitting in Gloucestershire. I became a dog-person, and also fell in love with the guinea pigs and the hamster!
I always feel energised in new or different places. I think I have a wandering heart that responds to the change in my surroundings; my senses are heightened, the landscape inspires me and my capacity to imagine is enhanced.
I feel conflicted about this trait in who I am. I have been seeking to truly root myself here on the edge of Dartmoor but it seems I can’t be loyal to one landscape! I still crave the incredible coastline of the South-West of Western Australia, pine after the Moray coast in the North-East of Scotland and hanker after the flat marshes of East Anglia.
Martin Shaw speaks of letting the land claim you; I have given my heart to many places on my travels and they all hold a part of it.
In Circle with Change
When I started holding Circles, I quickly had the realisation that I could apply many of the guiding principles of being in Circle with other humans, to being in Circle with my life.
I adopt this approach for engaging with the world (not always perfectly!) and also with problems or challenges or experiences. I embody the idea of being in Circle with my current reality and seek to listen, to witness, to be silent, to leave aside judgment, advice, platitudes and sympathy, honour the process and see what arises.
I often find myself in Circle with change. It is, after all, perhaps the one consistent thing in life - and I (mostly) relish it!
In that ongoing space of listening and waiting, I have found beautiful remedies to support me to honour myself and my responsibilities and commitments, as I navigate the ever changing tides of living through (r)evolutionary times.
I have been finding my way through menopause as River moved towards puberty, witnessing the genocides in Palestine, Sudan, DR Congo alongside the climate change heat waves and fires, am currently balancing a new job (after a decade of being self-employed) with still running Circle School.
When I meet these times as if in Circle, I can release my fears and anxieties (I may speak them out loud on a walk or journal on them or dance them out), create the space to listen for what I need to hear (I often hear my Grandmothers remind me that they too lived through challenging times), I can create a simple ritual to honour this phase and offer gratitude for this precious life.
This brings to mind Mary Oliver’s beautiful poem, Wild Geese, which always serves as a reminder for connection. It concludes with these lines:
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place in the family of things.
From my Kitchen
The most nourishing reminder of the inevitability of change is of course, being guided by the seasons. Recently, I decided to let go of any attachment to the Wheel of the Year, and to be as present as possible to the season around me.
My current practice for this is simply noticing what is unfolding in the woods and along the riverbanks, noticing what is ready to forage in hedgerows, growing and harvesting what I can in pots. I also decided to sign up for a weekly Fruit & Veg Bag delivery from the wonderful Apricot Centre.
I am lucky enough to live in a very community-centric town where there many incredible food initiatives, including a social supermarket, community fridge and café helping to minimise food waste and divert food from landfill. I share this, because I received my tomato plant from Riverford Organic Farmers via the Social Supermarket for free, and I am beyond excited to pluck a few juicy tomatoes every day!
This weekend we were excited to find that there were lots of blackberries ripe and ready for picking. In addition to our favourite blackberry and apple crumble, I’m planning on experimenting with a raw chocolate, blackberry and hazelnut bar (I’ll let you know if it works!).
I was also wondering about blackberry cordial to add to my Alcohol Free “Prosecco”! If you have any favourite blackberry recipes please share them with me.
A Quest-Walk
In our Sharing Circle earlier this month, we made an Oath to ourselves (and each other!) relating to what we were choosing to dedicate this season to. The Oath was from our hearts and we didn’t need to know “how” we would fulfil it.
I dedicated this season to tending to my local community connections.
In the closing of our Circle I offered this simple practice as a way to receive guidance on the ‘how’ of our Oaths:
Go on your usual (or new) walk, holding your Oath lightly in your heart and asking these QUESTions as you begin:
What do I need to know?
What do I need to release and / or receive?
What do I need to do?
As you walk, let the landscape unfold and offer you a response to your QUESTions. You may find something, see something, hear something, smell something or know something that offers insight and guidance.
Be gentle with yourself, and see if you can let go of any expectations as to what should happen, and be as receptive as you can to what actually happens on your walk.
When you arrive home, journal on the experience and see if you now have answers to your QUESTions.
If you do this, please come and share in the Chat - I’ll start a thread.
Circle Voices
I would love to share your voices through the Circle Project and have been intending to bring back my podcast, but just haven’t been able to carve out the time needed to do that (yet).
For now, I share my all time favourite Circle quote (which inspired my use of (r)evolutionary):
Once the principles are understood, the significance of women's circles can be appreciated as a revolutionary-evolutionary movement that is hidden in plain sight.
Jean Shinoda Bolen
Resources & Further Reading
In lieu of any further gatherings this month, I was contemplating what resource to share with paid subscribers.
One of my personal favourites of my own courses is PRESENCE - An Immersive Course in Holding Space during these times. It began life as an introduction to holding space and I delivered it live over 10-days via Facebook. As with everything I have created over the last 6+ years.
I love it because it is a deep inner journey into deepening our capacity to hold space for ourselves, and in doing so we come better space holders for others. Space holding is an essential skill for Circle Holders and yet in my experience, so many rush to the “how to hold Circles” without truly honouring and honing the skills to do so with integrity, compassion and generosity.
The current version of PRESENCE includes a a very special bonus session with the incredible Atifa Ismailmiya-Balding who curates journeys to cultivate connection + compassion through self care. We met when she enrolled in a previous iteration of PRESENCE.
As often happens to me when incredibly experienced and skilled practitioners join my courses, I was very nervous as to whether she would receive anything at all from it! But she did, and gave me a beautiful and generous testimonial to use.
When I reimagined the course yet again, I knew that I wanted her as a guest teacher but the timings didn’t work and we just couldn’t make it happen. Instead she created and recorded a love-infused session that participants could engage with in their own time and return to again and again.
And that is what I’m sharing with you. Paid Subscribers will find the link and details at the bottom of this post.*
Upcoming Gatherings
Our next Seasonal Circle will be on Wednesday 18th September at 9.30am BST. I will add this to the Community Calendar together with a new link.
Gratitude & Invitation
Thank you so much for being here and engaging with my work. This space is constantly changing (!) and evolving with me. I recently updated my publication description to:
Exploring the art of living "in circle"—with self, nature, and community. Through personal reflections, rituals, and seasonal gatherings, this space weaves together the sacred practice of circling in all its forms.
You can head to the About Page for a fuller description and to see what’s included for paid subscribers.
I promise that not all my posts will be this long; I have some more resources to share with paid subscribers over the summer, and we continue with the Book Club on Celtic Queen Maeve and Addiction in collaboration with
(just on a slightly different timescale than originally envisioned).With you in Circle in these (r)evolutionary times
Beautiful Mitle. It’s so nourishing to read your words, about life’s journey again. I very much appreciate these questions you’ve shared for I’m planning to have some me time this Saturday morning. Thank you. I so loved reading that quote as well…