Dissatisfaction and Finding Meaning
Harnessing Circle Wisdom for Social Change
Hello Circlers and thank you so much for being here. I’m finding my writing rhythm and so looking forward to our first co-working / collaboration call on Friday at 9.30am BST for paid subscribers - I’ll pop through the link for you on Thursday.
Meet Mars - the morning menace!
The cat has woken me up to let him out. He makes this half meow half yelping sound whilst clawing the carpet next to the bed. He is relentless, and I have learnt to give in and get up! (While muttering under my breath about getting a cat-flap).
I step outside as he struts away tail high in the air.
I relish the quiet at this time of the morning.
Our small terraced house overlooks an unruly communal garden space, where there are usually half a dozen or more children are chasing each other, firing water pistols or bouncing basketballs.
In the murky morning hush, lit by a single fading orange glow from the one working streetlamp, I self-consciously tend to my morning practice.
This is currently a mash-up of honouring the elements, turning to each direction to petition for peace, connecting to my body, breath, womb and heart, and calling in the stag, salmon, hawk and bear.
I trust that I’m hidden enough in the shadows and hope it’s too early for anyone to glance out of their window and see me! My preference would be to greet the day somewhere wild and inhabited only by my other-than-the-kin; but that is not my current life. I must adapt to a tiny courtyard and risk being watched by other humans.
As I turn in a Circle to face each of the directions, I invariably sense that longing still to feel connected with my roots, to rediscover the wisdom passed down through generations, and to find belonging in the embrace of community.
Recently a friend (lovingly) reflected back to me that I have a tendency to be dissatisfied. And it’s true. I am dissatisfied with how things are. I grapple with the inequitable, unjust state of the world, as I wrestle with my own privilege and seek to excavate a path of contribution in service to the greater whole.
I’m beginning to make peace with my dissatisfied state. It has a wholly different quality to despair. In dissatisfaction I am agitated to take action, rather than sinking helplessly into the clutches of “there’s nothing I can do”.
And some days, my dissatisfaction erupts as rage. I’ve been diving into Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly to further understand anger and the tool for change it can be. On the back cover, it states:
…the reality is that our rage is the most important resource we have as women, a force for creation rather than destruction, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression. Anger is not what gets in our way, it is our way. All we need to do is own it.
And so in this dance with dissatisfaction, longing for connection and rage, I always come back to Circles.
What is it about Circles that holds my fascination? (and has done for far longer than many things!)
Circles are more than just physical gatherings; they are a way of being and relating to the world. Rooted in the philosophy of interconnectedness, circles offer a guiding compass for navigating our human and more-than-human relationships, and fostering a sense of belonging and reciprocity.
How do we embody this philosophy in our daily lives? And what lessons can circles teach us about the nature of connection and community?
Drawing from Celtic traditions and living indigenous practices from around the world, circles have long served as a cornerstone of community and governance. From the ancient druids to contemporary indigenous tribes, circles have provided a space for storytelling, ceremony, and collective decision-making.
What is it about circles that transcends time and culture?
In these times of living on the brink (which is much closer for some than others but all of us are moving closer), Circles offer us spaces of sanctuary for connection and belonging amidst the chaos.
Through Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés I learnt the term 'overculture’. She has shared that she coined that term to mean “the larger society which often attempts to tell girls, women and elders what we ought, should and must be, do, act, react.”
Circles provide spaces in which we can practice rebelling against the overculture and (re)connecting with our wild and true selves. Then we can discern for ourselves what we ought, should and must be and do, and how we can act and react.
How can we integrate the wisdom of circles into our everyday lives?
Each time we gather in Circle, we have the opportunity to embody that experience within our everyday lives. We can take the experience of listening, witnessing, holding and presence into our daily interactions and how we tend to the world around us.
As Jean Shinoda Bolen says in her book, The Millionth Circle:
Once the principles are understood, the significance of women's circles can be appreciated as a revolutionary-evolutionary movement that is hidden in plain sight.
The Circle movement is expanding. From organisational dynamics to social justice movements, Circles are emerging as a powerful tool for fostering cooperation, dialogue, and collective action.
So what role do Circles play in addressing the pressing challenges of our time?
I spend a lot of my time pondering the potential of Circles, and how to share the process and philosophy as widely as I can.
From facilitation techniques to community-building strategies, Circles offer a flexible architecture for creating spaces of healing, transformation, and empowerment.
In my morning practice I was reminded of the importance of embracing both the warrior and the mystic within our wild and true selves.
The warrior energy we need to embody is that of dedication and purpose, courage and duty (referring to duty in the old-fashioned sense of a joyous calling as described by Sharon Blackie).
The mystic energy we need is a deep connection to our heart’s wisdom, a willingness to be guided by our intuitive intelligence and a devotion to being connected with the web of life.
Final Thoughts
I refer to Circles as spaces of sanctuary and rebellion. When those words first came to me, I didn’t fully understand what they meant. They are words that have companioned me and nudged me towards deepening into the meaning of what I’m offering.
Circles offer a space where we can rebel against the constraints of the overculture. Amidst the shared stories and collective wisdom, we can find safety within ourselves, and the courage to explore how we can find strength, resilience, and hope to contribute to, in the words of Manda Scott, a world we would be proud to leave to the next generation.
With you in Circle in these (r)evolutionary times
p.s. I love sharing books and I love supporting Indie bookshops. If you can’t get to a local bookshop or prefer to order on-line, the links that I share take you to bookshop.org. On their site you can choose a specific bookshop to support and they’ll receive 30% of the cover price (or almost all of the profit) or, 10% of the cover price contributes to an earnings pool that is evenly distributed among participating independent bookshops each month. In addition, I am a member of their affiliate program which means I receive 10% commission and an additional 10% goes to Indie bookshops. So it’s a win for book lovers and bookshops.